The Difficult Journey of Divorced Fatherhood: Overcoming Difficulties and Maintaining a Strong Bond with Children

Fatherhood is more than just being a biological parent. It’s about being a responsible and loving caregiver who plays an active role in their children’s growth and development. Unfortunately, the road towards being a successful father is not always an easy one, especially in a world where traditional family structures are shifting, and society’s values and expectations are changing. Rob Hourmount’s post, “It’s been 1 year since my two beloved kids stopped talking to me,” highlights the difficulties that good fathers can face in maintaining a relationship with their children after a separation or divorce.

Good fathers are often caught in the middle of changing values and expectations in society. The parent with primary custody of the children is usually given more authority and influence, leading to what is referred to as “parental Stockholm syndrome,” where children tend to align themselves with the parent they are most frequently exposed to, regardless of that parent’s behavior or intentions.

Even after experiencing the loss of his home, his wife, and his role as a father, a divorced man can reinvent himself. Each day brings a fresh start, and by realizing that he has the power to recreate himself, he can begin to truly live. The idea of “You Only Live Once” should serve as a wake-up call for him to seize the opportunity to live his metaphorical second life to the fullest. Although he may have felt like a failure up until this point, he can use this realization to turn his life around, much like the rising Phoenix or the art of Kintsugi, where broken vases become more valuable after being repaired.

Fortunately, going forward, there are options available for men who wish to be both married and fathers. One solution is to forego the traditional concept of marriage and instead draft a private contract, similar to a prenuptial agreement, that will serve as the framework for their future relationship; essentially, the marriage contract that they will agree to. This contract helps equalize and strengthen a man’s ability to be an active and involved father in his children’s lives, regardless of what may happen in his relationship with their mother. It also makes sure that he will have the same chances as the children's mother to be involved in their lives.

For men who are considering marriage, it is vital to prepare themselves in this manner before entering into the union with the woman who will become their wife. By doing so, they put themselves in a financially secure position, with a home and property that they alone own, giving their wife confidence in his ability to take care of her and their family. The majority of the time, the wife will outlive the husband, and after he passes away, she and their children will be provided for in a manner that is satisfactory… her loyalty, love and aid to him rewarded by way of his last will and testimony.

For those who have already gotten married, it is never too late to start working towards rectifying the situation. They have the ability to avoid making the same mistakes as others, such as Rob Hourmount, and take steps to protect themselves and their families. This does not mean that they should never get married, but rather that they should be cautious and proactive in protecting their rights and interests as fathers.

Good fathers should not be discouraged by the changing values in society. Instead, they should be encouraged to continue being good fathers. They should understand that being a father is a lifelong commitment, and it’s essential to maintain a strong relationship with their children, even if their relationship with their partner does not work out. By being proactive and taking steps to protect their rights and interests as fathers, men can ensure that they have a meaningful and active role in their children’s lives, regardless of the circumstances.

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